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In all my years of being a Christian and preaching the Gospel I don't believe I have seen a more
contentious issue than the one involving marriage, divorce, and remarriage. The sad part being
that it shouldn't be so. It is a testament to our age of self-deception that some folks refuse
to heed the words of the Bible on this issue.
The apostle Paul and the Holy Spirit described such an age when they prophesied, "For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God" (2 Tim. 3:2-4). Just about all of these terms can be used to describe the attitude of those who refuse to abide by the Bible concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage. Let us now go to the passage of Scripture that has become a stumbling block for so many — Matthew 19:9. In response to a query concerning divorce the New Lawgiver uttered these inviolate words: "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery". Those seeking the truth concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage in this verse can understand it (Jn. 8:31-32). In explaining His position the Lord could not have been clearer. "Whosoever" includes everyone: Male, female, Jew, Gentile, Christian, and non-Christian. All of humanity is amenable to this passage. There are no exemptions for the Christian like the presumptuous "Pauline Privilege" or any such nonsense. "Fornication" refers to "any form of sexual immorality, unlawful sexual relations; including homosexuality, lesbians, pre-marital, extra-marital, etc." (Paul Sain, Ready Reference For Growing Christians, p. 68,). Jesus was essentially saying, "The only reason to divorce ("put away") one's spouse is because of the sin of fornication". This excludes such serious legal reasons as domestic violence or the highly dubious "irreconcilable differences". "Adultery" involves "unlawful sexual intercourse with the spouse of another" (Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, p. 14, 1985 Edition). Jesus was explaining the consequence for the guilty parties in scriptural divorces who remarry: They are adulterers in God's sight or "living in sin" (cf. Col. 3: 5-7). They have no scriptural right to remarry. Sadly such an adulterous union is not a marriage that God recognizes; one that God "hath joined together" (Matt. 19: 6). The King James Version uses the term "committeth" in Matthew 19:9 to denote a continuous action verb. In other words the guilty party in an unscriptural divorce that remarries continues to commit adultery as long as they are in that unscriptural marriage. Only repentance or the turning away from their sinful situation can save them. As the apostle Paul commanded the Christians in Ephesus, "Let him that stole steal no more..." (Eph. 4:28). The innocent party in a scriptural divorce has a God given right to remarry, if they are not also guilty of fornication or adultery. They have the right to exercise the option Jesus gave them to "put away" their guilty mate if they choose to do so; though in marriage, forgiving reconciliation is preferable. Contrary to what many people suppose, the teachings of Jesus often made Him unpopular. His word struck at the heart of sin — pride and disobedience. "Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it?" (Jn. 6:60). It was no different with His decree of Matthew 19:9. "His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry" (Matt. 19:10). He was returning the world to God's original intent for marriage as exhibited in the first marriage (Gen. 2) — one man and one woman for life. Men have so departed from that intent they need to be called back to it by the Savior. That is what Jesus was trying to tell them and us. Obeying the Lord may involve some difficult choices. Millions in our world have engaged in unscriptural divorce and remarriage. In some cases their remarriage may have taken place years ago. For them to obey the Lord they must come out of an unlawful union and make things right. Biblical repentance often involves restitution. The thief returns what he stole to its owner. The adulterer must return the wife he stole from another, if possible. Repentance can involve the breaking up of homes, with tears. This may seem pitiless to some but the Bible says, "the way of transgressors is hard" (Prov. 13:15). "But what about the child in such a relationship" is a common refrain. Children should not grow up thinking God tolerates adultery. Rather, they should see the living example of someone who chose to follow Jesus and His word concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage rather than their passions. (Please also study Ezra 9-10 and Nehemiah 13:24-27 for God's perspective in the Old Testament on similar situations.) Let us strive to follow "the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus" (Rom. 8: 2) which includes marriage, divorce and remarriage. Let Christians teach their children this law. And let us not neglect to teach this truth to those in unscriptural marriages, if they will listen (cf. Ezek. 33: 7-9). Perhaps they too will "open their eyes, and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me? (Acts 26:18). |