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"...If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent,
forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven
times in a day, turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him."
(Lk. 17:3-4).
Two of the most misunderstood, misused and abused words in the English language are found in the above passage. They are "repent" and "forgive". Most of the religious world, and the secular world as well, believe repentance is simply saying, "I'm sorry", and that forgiveness must be extended to the non-repentant. Repentance is required of all who desire Gods forgiveness (Lk. 13:3; Acts 2:38). God will never forgive an unrepentant soul, nor does God expect us to. The Bible is clear about what constitutes repentance. Repentance is a change of mind, preceded by godly sorrow, and resulting in a change of life. "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation, not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death." (2 Cor. 7:10). This passage speaks of two kinds of sorrow — godly sorrow and the sorrow of the world. Godly sorrow brings a man to repentance, but the sorrow of the world does not. A man may be sorry he got caught in sin, but continue therein. That's the sorrow of the world. No change of life issues from that kind of sorrow and that was demonstrated in the suicide of Judas Iscariot after he betrayed Christ. On the other hand, godly sorrow is sorrow that sees the wrongness of one's actions in the light of God's word and determines to quit practicing those things. That kind of sorrow was evinced in the life of Paul who murdered Christians, but turned from that evil and obeyed Christ. When godly sorrow takes hold of a man, he then wills to cease his sin and follow Christ. Repentance, then, is simply a change of mind that issues in a changed life. Jesus demonstrated that in His parable of the two sons. "But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work today in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not; but afterward, he repented, and went." (Mt. 21:28-29). The fact that the son later "went" was not repentance. His going to work in the vineyard was the fruit of his repentance. The difference between his going or not going is the difference between will and will not. At first, he said, "I will not." But he later repented and went. What did he do? He changed his mind. He willed to go work in the vineyard, and when he so willed, his action demonstrated his change of will because "he repented and went." He could have told his father he was "sorry", but if he had not "went", he would not have repented. Being "sorry" for sin is not repentance. Repentance is changing one's mind, determining to quit his sin. Having done that, one's life must then demonstrate that change of mind. That is repentance according to the word of God. When God forgives a person, He erases that person's guilt from His mind and no longer holds it against him. But God does not forgive anyone who will not repent, and neither does He expect man to forgive one who will not repent. What passes for forgiveness in today's world is more akin to toleration of sin and actually enables the sinner to continue on his downward course. To say the sinner is forgiven when he will not repent is to do what God will not do. When Jesus taught us to forgive, he placed a condition on that forgiveness "...if he repent, forgive him". God does not unconditionally forgive anyone and Christ said our forgiveness of others is conditioned upon their repentance. To tell a sinner he is forgiven before he repents and brings forth "fruits meet for repentance" is simply toleration of sin and enables the sinner. The man who is a drunk will never be brought to repentance so long as family members tell him he is forgiven without his repentance, and provide the means for him to continue in that sin. Such toleration of sin actually sends a signal to the sinner that he can continue in his sinful ways without consequences. But though he may escape consequences in this life, he will still face eternal punishment in the world to come. To "forgive" one who has not repented not only endangers his soul, but places the soul of the one who "forgives" in jeopardy. Jesus said one who sins must be rebuked. If he repents Ð changes his will toward sin and demonstrates such in a changed life — then we not only can, but must forgive him. But if, after he is rebuked, he simply says, "I'm sorry," and continues in his practice of sin, he has not repented. In that case, man not only cannot, but must not tell that sinner he is forgiven. To do so, makes the one who "forgives" a partaker of his evil deed (2 Jn. 9-11). Those of us who are members of churches of Christ have been accused of being unforgiving. That is not so. Not only can we forgive the penitent soul, but God requires us to forgive him. But those who so accuse us generally have no idea that in order for anyone to scripturally forgive a sinner, the sinner must first repent. If he does not, he can neither be forgiven by God nor man. If he repent, forgive him. |